Where does resilience lie?

Updated: Nov 5, 2018

On a scale from 1 to 10, where 10 is the most annoyed you can get: for me this sentence is a 9.5.

Before she was born, I thought a lot about the way I wanted my husband and I to bring her up. The one question I wanted to get an answer to was ‘how can I raise the most resourceful and powerful lady on earth?’

I read many books (like you do…) to figure out the advice that was given to the world and swallowed the good, the bad and the ugly. Interesting reading but didn’t convince me. A few months later, she was born.

I very quickly realised by looking in her eyes that there was no limit to what she could learn and achieve.

Right in her eyes, here was the answer I was looking for.

My discovery was overwhelming as now it meant that it was our responsibilities, as parents, to make sure she remained the most resourceful and powerful lady on earth forever.

As you know, I do like a challenge. Therefore I started to define what a resourceful and powerful lady needed to have in her tool box to thrive in today’s world.

Confidence, integrity, honesty, courage as well as emotional intelligence sounds like a good start to overcome the obstacles life (and people) put in your way.

Also essential to learn from what life throw in your way: such as get up, be stronger and try again. That specific mindset is what I’m working towards with my daughter. I support her to be familiar with adversity and see it as a godsend, a step towards significant achievements.

So imagine the feeling I have when we go through her homework and out of the blue, she tells me:

I can’t do it.

Not only I know she can do it as we’ve done it the day before but it goes against everything we have been working on for the last 4 years.


At that point I start ‘taking it personally’, I am failing at raising the most resourceful and powerful lady on earth…

Like for everything, the more time you invest in a ‘mission’, the more you end up taking it personally. Coaching has taught me that I'm transferring my fears or negative thought onto my little one.

Through coaching, I discovered this trait of mine:

Identified as my Ego.

I now know that my Ego is reluctant to change or even step out of my comfort zone, and this energy gets unconsciously reflected in my interaction with my daughter.

Therefore to arm her with the high achiever mindset, I concluded that I need to work on mine first and accept that I have to revise and adapt my approach to life while extending my comfort zone continually.

By the way, the same applies to my hubby and other family members (including the pets - don't laugh they are the toughest in our household).

Once I accepted that the vibes, negative and positive, I was generating towards my family were impacting the overall mood of the household, everything became calmer.

What does that tell you about yourself?

Focus on what you can change first - You.

I’d love to make you benefit from what I’ve learnt so far, so when you understand that tomorrow is ahead and that you have power over what it will look like, get in touch with me through my website, to make your mindset, and associated positive habits, settle in as soon as possible.

Speak soon, Aline x

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